It took me far too long to figure out that my process can be quite strange, and that that’s okay. In fact, the nuanced weirdness of our individual ways in relating to the divine, or practicing our ways, are not merely expressions of our existences that happen to emerge out of the matrix of such circumstances as time, place, culture, and self - They might be the very reason we exist in the first place.
What if our individual sparks of eternal consciousness split from the One to begin with as a means of blossoming into a glorious teeming jungle of textured and nuanced relationships to the divine?
What if something you are embarrassed about is revered by beings you don’t even know exist? What if the quirks you’re afraid others find annoying are enormous victories for the spirits who help you through life? What if all those little things about yourself that make you cringe are seen by the univese as holy?
Would it still matter what other humans think, in their shortsighted materialistic little worlds?
The power that can be uncovered through embracing our own uniqueness, opening arms to the challenges of otherness, and allowing the true shape of oneself to (sometimes painfully) push away that which does not harmonize while drawing in that which does is profound. The truth is, if we step willingly into ourselves, the world around us reconfigures. That process can be painful, but it always eventually leads to somewhere more appropriate, more harmonious, and more fulfilling if we are being fully honest in this process.
In my own practice my longstanding attitude of doing as little astrology as is necessary to avoid unwanted interference and taking a layered, multiple enchantments approach to amulets has partly been a means of focusing on devotional aspects, ancestrally connected magics from grimoires and the “folk” practices I feel most connected with, but it has also in all honesty in part been a means of working around my own long standing inadequacies.
Of those many, relevant here being my life-long crippling AD(H)D (or fractured attention disorder to put it more accurately) which in addition to causing highly intelligent people to feel very stupid through the abominable state of most education systems also has the added benefit of tricking the mind through the use of the word disorder into believing it is a permanent condition. Which, whether or not it is, the belief therein seals any door to change or healing that might have been possible, or at least moves it farther away from probable.
My experience is that my ADHD is a result of feeling unsafe or unwelcome as a steady hum during childhood. A constant low-to-medium threat level, holding the knowledge that at any time, for reasons you don’t understand, things could become very unpleasant very quickly. It is then that it serves a person to step outside of themselves frequently for short breaks. I hold fast that my condition has vastly improved over the past few years of really leaning into healing like a hurrican-force wind, chanting and praying, finding refuge in the blessed trinity, the triple gem, and the crossroads alike, and this has gotten me to thinking about what I might be capable of now that I wasn’t before.
Things like staying organized. Or maybe, and this is a stretch, keeping better track of time. If I’m suddenly able to read fiction again (a very exciting development) then perhaps I could learn more technical skills too. Maybe even astrology, which is something I have always wanted to know well enough to at least find my own elections. My, how the ways that misunderstanding neurodivergence can shape us. Even seeing this I hesitate to get excited at the thought for fear that I still won’t be able to retain that type of information well enough to be effective and learn, that I will let myself down in this way, yet again. I’ve had to face the fact that I’ve developed many aversions to things I have a genuine interest in, and disentangling and healing those things is a process.
This astrological interest was resparked when Mat Dragonstone of Dragonstone Astrology, a brilliant talisman maker and friend whose work I highly recommend, generously offered me a couple very nice elections. These gave me the chance to dig in to what nailing a good election really felt like, first with Regulus and now with a Cazimi, and I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunities and experiences that continue to result every day because of these enchantments.
Interestingly enough, this has also caused some reflection on what the flipside of the crippling aspects of neurodivergence can be. In essence, it is a term that refers to one’s inability to conform to societal expectations of normalcy. Just as a for instance; There are many types of learner, but if kinesthetic is your bag well good luck - You’re neurodivergent now! Or maybe you even have a “learning disability” because you need to use your hands. In reality, you’re probably an artist. Your head is probably too far out into the woods to properly function in this wholly unnatural consumer culture, out gathering treasures from the ether to bring back to us in the form of prose, dance, or music and exploring in a state where time is only relevant to mood and lighting. And God bless you if that’s you. For me, this shows up as a highly intuitive adventure where I don’t always know what the hell I’m doing until it’s happened and it would be very exciting and fun if I could manage to stop worrying and love the ride. And let’s be clear - I’m working on it.
When I found myself inscribing a batch of the Fourth Pentacle of Mercury into brass on a Wednesday with the moon waxing, I didn’t have much of a plan. I hadn’t thought about it any more than that. It had somehow entirely slipped my mind that according to the text the moon should be “in an aerial or terrestrial sign” - Something unlikely to slip my mind at all given that I had adhered to it in the past on multiple occasions.
I finished inscribing the last of my bad Hebrew and began reading back through the Greater Key and after a few minutes I came across this oversight of mine and feverishly checked the astro - Turns out, the moon had entered cancer only minutes ago. I had finished at exactly the time when the moon left Gemini; a sign both aerial and ruled by Mercury.
Okay, not bad. Not bad at all. But now why did I make these? Well, later my attention would be drawn to a few things through synchronicities which would sound stupid and have no potency if recounted secondhand, so I’ll spare the details and offer the rest.
The first thing was pointed to was a jar of roots and herbs intended to eventually become an oil for increasing psychic abilities. Not the deep trance of journeying, but the active and conscious reaching out as in remote viewing or psychism, and how the function of the Fourth Pentacle of Mercury matched this perfectly.
The next thing brought to my attention was the nature of Mercury itself, how it could be paired with other forces very harmoniously to cause those other forces to become more dynamic and accessible. Mercury gives it wings.
Then this idea connected with a bowl of a powder mix full of Shemhamephorash angels and herbs I’d been working on for some time, which will be the foundational materia in a series of upcoming amulets, and I knew immediately that the Pentacles and the angels wanted to work together. After all, the concept of the amulet is “The Good Wizard’s Assistant” and the combination of angels and Mercury did indeed fit the bill.
Then I was reminded that there was a Mercury Cazimi coming up within two days from the moment in which I stood and the room took on that unmistakable feeling of electricity, when the crispness of inspiration feels like it’s going to crackle and blow the mains. It was all as clear as day and only a little while before, even as I dragged stylus across brass, I doubted what I was doing, whether or not I was wasting my time, being foolhardy or reckless with my efforts, or just stupid.
But there are other ways of being in the world and keeping track of everything isn’t for everybody. There are ways of moving in flow with currents who hold you and inspire you in ways which you cannot necessarily see all the time. Ways which must be embraced and trusted to manifest into our genius. It is okay to do things differently. It is more than okay.
Someone once told me “You owe the world you voice.” and I would go a bit further - Your practice, your unique expressions of praise, petition, compulsion, gratitude, ceremony, and mourning are part of that voice. Those parts of us are the voice from within that does not fall upon deaf ears, but reaches those who outlast these tiny human lives, those who love us in all our strangeness and will be waiting to honor us for our efforts here when we get to the other side.
So whether or not our strangeness is permanent or due to trauma, it is likely a sign of some sort of boon in another area of our being, some exalting uniqueness. And whether or not I can manage to learn to do my own astrological elections, simply the invitation to give it another go, the possibility that my hindrances have waned to such a degree as to make what was not possible before potentially possible now, is tremendous. It seems that our shortcomings, whether inherent or environmental, do provide boons amidst their difficulties and it seems ideal that once healed, if healing is possible, we might keep the boons and leave the difficulties behind.
I’m saying all of this because I know I am not the only one who struggles with these things, and I want you to know that too - You’re not the only one, and your special wyrdness is a glorious gift. There is no telling where faith and trust in that can lead.
And now, finally, on to the oil. Which, full disclosure, feels like a small amount of very high quality amphetamine. Even so, for ADHD folks I would recommend Regulus as the mental stability from him is incredible.
Mercury Cazimi in Gemini Oil
A Mercury Cazimi is a rare moment when our mobile rapscallion finds himself directly behind the Sun, supercharging his virtues and providing a golden opportunity to harness the multivalent powers of the planet associated with motion, intellect, speech, magic, education, money, and all things which rely upon the conscious, rational mind's ability to make sense, be present, and think critically while maintaining fluidity. Through Mercury all things move, and through the Sun's beaming illumination this power is easily accessible. This holds especially true when a cazimi falls in a sign which is friendly unto Mercury, such as his domicile Gemini in this case.
Enchanted as Mercury and the Sun approached the ascendant in the first house with cinnamon, lavender, lemongrass, wormwood, vervain and a piece of hazel wood harvested in Mercury's day and hour, a quartz crystal (once called rainbow stone) with the sigil of Mercury engraved thereon, dried flowers "of diverse colors" which were offered during the rite, and a few supporting herbs and roots which are said to bolster psychic abilities and the prowess of the mind, sharpening its edges for any Mercurial endeavor one may undertake.
This oil is excellent for study, research, writing, communication both written and verbal, networking, and most especially appropriate for the study and practice of magic.
According to the Greater Key of Solomon the Fourth Pentacle of Mercury is "proper to acquire the understanding and knowledge of all things created, and to seek out and penetrate into hidden things; and to command those spirits which are called Allatori (those who bring back news or intelligence) to perform embassies. They obey very readily."
Several of these were engraved in brass at the appropriate hour and moon phase on the previous Wednesday. One of these was added to the master jar during the cazimi enchantment to further it's empowerment, while the others will be part of a later release.
Available in 5ml and 10ml stainless roll-top bottles.
An extra special thanks to
for help with this election, and I encourage you to engage with his work. Total legend.